The 40 Year Old Bat Mitzvah


Posted in personal growth, philosophizing, spirituality by Juliet on March 19, 2010

Knitting is a powerful part of my spiritual journey. I don’t know how or why (yet), but since I can tell that it is important, I keep coming back.

I am a beginning knitter. I can start, and I can knit in a basic knit stitch. I forgot how to bind off so I can’t finish. Pretty much the only thing I can do is the beginning and middle of a scarf.

Until I want to finish something badly enough that I learn to bind off, I just knit, and luckily one thing I can knit even with these most basic skills is a scarf. A scarf is a fine project, especially if you do what I did and choose a beautiful ball of yarn.

Berroco rayon/viscose/linen/silk yarn in "Seduce" from our "LYS" (local yarn store), Daily Fiber

My life right now feels like this yarn looks. Parts of it are woven perfectly. Other parts sit in a beautiful, orderly ball, waiting to be knit into a scarf. But rebellious sections of the knitted part either hang loose or pucker awkwardly where I dropped stitches, screwed up, or missed doing anything at all.

And look at the ball! It’s all tangled and whenever I try to untangle it, I get one section done, only to find that the sections that used to be fine are now tangled too.

As I sat and tried to unravel the ball – to start over, really – I thought about the word ravel. I thought enough about it that I looked it up in the dictionary.

ravel – 1a. to separate or undo the texture of: UNRAVEL. 1b. to undo the intricacies of: DISENTANGLE. 2. ENTANGLE; CONFUSE.

Hold up a second! How did I never realize before that ravel and unravel mean exactly the same thing?

As I’m unweaving one thread, another becomes entangled. That is the very nature of yarn, and knitting, and life, and my spiritual journey.

It is a simultaneous disentangling and entangling.

It is impossible to pull out a single element of one’s life and examine it in a vacuum, then put it back, and pull out a different element and examine that one. While you’re busy navel-gazing, life goes on.

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