The 40 Year Old Bat Mitzvah

Mind-Body

Posted in personal growth, spirituality by Juliet on March 28, 2010

It’s hard to be spiritual when you have a migraine.

I have friends who suffer from frequent headaches – migraines, even – and I consider myself lucky that I only have them a couple of times a year.

I have a high pain tolerance (just ask my dentist, or the obstetricians who delivered our daughters with drug-free natural deliveries), but I absolutely hate feeling queasy, and I hate headaches. Enter the migraine.

From my journal, March 21, 2010, 2:30 am:

despair

don’t feel good

scared

of?

This feeling, feeling bad, will get worse.

Luckily I know that self-talk is a powerful tool. Since I’m a writer, my self-talk occurs on the written page:

It’s just a feeling.

It’ll pass.

Fear. Push through it.

BE GENTLE ON MYSELF AND KNOW THAT I AM SAFE. I am safe. I am loved. I am worthy. I am nurtured. I am nourished.

Remember that day when I felt so sick and panicked and wrote in my journal to “talk myself down”? It worked.

Self-diagnosis:

tired
frazzled
worn out
spread way too thin
conflicted
challenged

I haven’t been sleeping enough. I started out tired then ran around all day. I ate aged Swiss cheese and drank red wine. I had chocolate and mustard and tangerines. I did a lot of driving. I was under stress.

I sat up all night flipping channels. Finally, at around 5:45 am, I wrote this:

I am fine. I am loved and cared for. I am SAFE. What a pretty sunrise behind the pink blossoms of the nectarine tree.

I cancelled everything and spent the following day napping, eating dry crackers, and resting with the cats. Sure enough, I did get better, and soon, too.

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