The 40 Year Old Bat Mitzvah

Possibly Boring Journals: Part 2

Posted in Uncategorized by Juliet on June 6, 2011

March 11, 1997

Nightmare last night, HARD time sleeping.  Why is it that my nightmares are always set at the house on Riverview Drive?

That’s where I lived during ages 12-17.  I never have a nightmare where I’m living in the house in Orange, or the Co-Op, which are the two places that immediately preceded and followed Riverview.

In the nightmare, Scott and I are in an office of some sort.  I’ve been receiving weird, threatening notes implying that I’m being stalked.

Scott is on the phone with the person.  He’s trying not to act like he’s fazed by what he’s hearing but you can tell he is.

Suddenly the scene switches to scary images of the Riverview house.  Just flashes of the various rooms, with a scary mood.

Then Mom is there and we are talking about how this crazed stalker has actually been in the house with us, hiding.  Nobody detected his presence, though weird things happened.  Mom noticed strange smells.  Little things were either moved or missing altogether.

Okay, that’s scary!  No wonder I had insomnia.  I had years and years of very bad insomnia.

March 12, 1997

I am taking a mental health day off from work.  The pressure of this job is really getting to me.  I couldn’t sleep last night.  I kept turning the R_R_ case over and over in my head.

What shall I do with myself today?  Physically I am fine, aside from feeling tired and run down.

(So other than feeling like shit, I’m great!)

I want to take a bubble bath, sit outside in the fresh air.  I might go to the Corona library.  I will work up the R_R_ case some more.

At this point in my journal I have pasted in several clippings from newspapers and magazines including ads for The Oaks at Ojai and The Palms in Palm Springs, Glen Ivy, the International Skin & Bodycare Day Spa in Redlands, and the Ritz-Carlton Rancho Mirage.  I also have pictures of women running and a notice about the 4th annual (it was 1997!) Revlon Run/Walk for Women.

It’s weird that I used to work out and run so much, because now, I pretty much do nothing other than yoga, chase the dog, and sit in the sauna.

I’ll go to the gym in the early afternoon for my SELF Challenge workout:  30 minutes of cardio plus weights.

Maybe I’ll do my Yoga for Flexibility tape today too.  I have yoga class tomorrow evening at Blue Mud.

Scott got a neat catalogue called “Stress-Less.”  I might order something from it.  They have audiotapes, videotapes, books, music, and more!

March 13, 1997, 6:20 a.m.

I chose an IRA!  I am raiding $1,000 from my money market to make an annual $1,000 contribution.  Then the fund will take $80/month from my checking account.  I feel really good about how I am doing financially.  When I get promoted to III I’ll get a raise to make matters even better.  

If you asked me how much I earned during any of these years I probably  could not tell you.  I muddled through.

I need to get ready for work now.  My stomach is not right.  I am having digestive problems.  I am nervous about trial.

Insert picture cut from magazine of confident looking woman in business suit striding across an intersection:

But I am just about as prepared for this case as I ever have been.  And I am more passionate about it than any case I’ve ever taken to trial.

Tonight I go to yoga.  I find myself really looking forward to doing yoga.  Tomorrow I have a dentist appointment.  Exam, cleaning.  I hate it.  

March 14, 1997, 7:45 a.m.

I have had a killer headache since yesterday.  It peaked in the evening hours; yoga did not help.  Sleep helped a bit, and I feel somewhat better this morning.  I put Tiger Balm on my temples and across the front of my forehead.

I want to stop eating refined sugar to see if that helps.  It might also be the smog.  Or general tension.

Looking at some of these cases, no wonder I was stressed all the time.

May 4, 1996

I’m in trial again (#7) against my favorite person, R_M_.  It’s weird….my client is so guilty.  He is charged with a single count of 243(d)-assault and battery with injury, against a stripper at a party at his house.  There were three strippers, two were hit, the charges are for one victim, and he swears he hit the OTHER one.  What an ass.

People who know me know sometimes think I’ve been a crunchy granola health nut forever, but back in the day, I ate out of vending machines.  Not “I buy something on occasion from a vending machine,” but I’d craft an entire meal from it at least once a day.

Work should not be bad today.  I cancelled my dentist appointment.  I was concerned because Dr O__ started talking about root canal and I don’t even have pain.  Also his x-rays are totally excessive.  It is ridiculous.  J__ found a dentist she likes so I’ll give him a try.

This weekend wraps up the first leg of the SELF Challenge.  I need to go to the gym today and tomorrow, and do some light weights at home Saturday.  I’d like to go to a bookstore and get a book on meditation.  I am going to keep a detailed “holistic health journal” to gain insight into my headaches.

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