The 40 Year Old Bat Mitzvah

Possibly Boring Journals: Part 7

Posted in Uncategorized by Juliet on June 18, 2011

January 13, 1996, Camp Ramah  (Ojai, CA)

I’m at a women’s retreat.  It’s very spiritual, emotional and female.

I just came from a workshop with Rabbi Nina Bieber Feinstein on “Finding Your Jewish Name.”  I narrowed down some choices:

  • Sarah
  • Galit
  • Yael
  • Miriam
  • Batya
I want to get the book, “The Woman’s Comfort Book.”  We did exercises from it in the workshop “The Myth of the Jewish Superwoman.”  In that workshop I developed three goals:
  • make time for friendships/nurture  friendships
  • make time for solitude
  • get daily/weekly spiritual nourishment
I like the name Galit best.  It means “joy” which is what I want to live with more of.
Dinner tonight was:  Israeli style dinner – falafel, pita, hummus, tomato and cucumber salad, Greek olives, and apple strudel for dessert.  Very good!
January 14, 1997, Camp Ramah
My roommate in the dorms here is named Stephanie (Hebrew name “Shoshana.”)  It was funny at our “getting to know you” Friday.  We got into groups of 4, then 8, then 12 women.  We shared our names and what we do and don’t like about them.  We also shared our Hebrew names, and in our little group there were four or five Shoshanas.  They were all laughing.
Names:  Judith (need to read that story again-is it bad?); Yael (does it really mean “mountain goat” and is that bad?); Lena (shining light)
February 9, 1996, 5:00 p.m.
The days feel pretty crappy.  I am stuck in a rut of depression, boredom, and hopelessness.  I don’t know why or what would make me fee better.
I need to eat better:  cut back on all the candy and cookies.  I reach for them out of anxiety when I’m not even hungry for something sweet.
Maybe I should quit candy cold turkey.  It brings me down.
Lasagna is in the oven.  This is the meal I made for my first date with Scott.  He brought daisies.
February 12, 1996, 1:50 p.m.
I’m off to the gym.  Tonight it’s tempeh burgers with papaya salsa.  I made the marinade and salsa this morning and had a nasty knife accident with my thumb.  Ouch.  Garlic, ginger, and lime juice in a cut.
February 13, 1996, 6:25 a.m.
I’m making oatmeal.  I need to go to the post office to pick up “Legendary Abs.”
With this job, anything can happen.
February 17, 1996, 9:55 a.m.
I wonder how I’d feel about doing what I do for a living if I weren’t actually doing it?
Ted the interpreter came up to me in court and whispered, “I  look like I’m part of the system but really I’m not.”
February 21, 1996, 1:55 p.m.
On Sunday we went to Joshua Tree and hiked “Lost Horse Mine.”  Now I’m home sick, dizzy.  Scott saw a roadrunner.
3 p.m.
Quincy – score!  I just finished Remington Steele.  Feeling better.
April 3, 1996
I’m giving up coffee.  Yesterday I had a cup of General Foods Suisse Mocha which I suspect has very little caffeine.  Today I had lemon tea, naturally caffeine free.
April 4, 1996, 6:45 a.m.
Last night was the first seder which we spent at Myra and Moti’s house in Irvine.  Leigh and Nimrod were there with Gilad who is very cute and Leigh is 7 mos pregnant.  There was a lot of kvelling from Libby.
My vegetarian kishke turned out okay.  It molded into a really good texture.
My systems are all out of whack.  I think it’s coffee withdrawal.  I feel like my metabolism and stomach and brain etc are all operating at different speeds.  I’ll be okay.
April 11, 1996
I was going to be in trial but my client showed up in shorts.  He was sent home.  Now I’m in trial on a different case:  knife and  gun possession.  I stopped at Grape Leaves after Lake Alice for drinks and got a mezze with pita bread-yum!
April 17, 1996, 7:00 a.m.
I didn’t even get a chance to interview at Welebir and McCune. They called me to cancel because they already hired someone else.  Now I only have one resume out, to a social security appeals job in Irvine.  Better check them out in Martindale-Hubbell.
What’s going to happen?  I worry that I won’t make probation but then I think that might not be the worst thing that could happen.
I’m still eating way too much candy.  I weighed myself at the gym yesterday:  112 pounds.  I think it’s probably good.
If I can quit coffee, I can quit candy.  I can’t eat so much candy in court or in B_’s office.  Court is going to be hard.  I can stay out of B_’s office but I have to go to court.
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